This video will hopefully inform you on how to successfully check for testicular cancer… and the guy in it is really cute!

Did you know males between the ages of 15 and 35 are most at risk. Yikes!

Enjoy, and CHECK UR BALLS REGULARLY! I MEAN COME ON… YOU’RE ALREADY DOWN THERE LIKE ONCE A DAY! LOL!

Recently, I came across a site called “The Frenemy” and it seems girls have some really snarky things to say about Carrie Bradshaw, and the rest of her friends on Sex and the City…

Before I go on, take a look at the article, wittily named “Carrie Bradshaw Math”:

Don’t get me wrong- I watch Sex and The City. I never got why she wore a lot of shit on her head, or why she thought Chris Noth was remotely fuckable, but I still dug that slutty old lady who made all the cock puns. I’ve seen most of the episodes, I’ve drank booze and saw them with my ‘girlfriends’ and at one point I concluded I may have been a Miranda even though I’m not a ginger bitch. However, there’s been something about the show that has been gnawing at me lately. 

I’ve been out of college with a writing degree for almost a year now. I too, moved to NYC (well, Brooklyn, but I wear more skinny jeans than Charlotte) to pursue writing. And I’ve done pretty well with it, soo fucking whoop-de-do for me, but something’s been bothering me and I just need to get it off my chest:

Carrie Bradshaw, you gotta be tripping balls to have us believe that you can sustain yourself that extravagantly on that one stupid-ass column. You lying bitch!

I get it Carrie. You’re tres chic. You don’t stay up late and read Ginsburg like a lot of the writing majors I know, but you do write passive-aggressive things about your exes, so you’re as much of a writer as one can be. But you live in Manhattan (a town that literally grabs your money from your hand and eats it alive) and you only write this ONE FUCKING COLUMN for the first three seasons of the show. You know, before you got that weirdo dude taking his pants off at you in Vogue Magazine/a book deal of recycled posts. Good for you, you’re such a rich and well-read socialite! But that means for a while, that column was your base income. THAT’S INSANITY.

So I really get that you spend a lot of time laboriously smoking out your window in a crop top writing things like ‘that got me thinking..are men like wet socks?’ and ‘here are personal things about my whore friends that they probably don’t want you to know’ and ‘are relationships like a monkey circus?’ and it must be hard. I can relate- I spend a lot of time wasting away my hours drinking Coors Light and writing ‘cheese i don’t shave bitch bitch yap’ all day long. It’s cool, it’s fun to work at home, and good for us.

But listen. Stop trying to pretend that you can live in New York and have this overly successful life based on writing alone. It’s a cruel joke! It hurts my feelings! You have to be poor as fuck because every writer, including myself, moves to NYC and feels oftentimes homeless. A good day is when you don’t think ‘maybe I should cook these garbage rats for sustenance’ and a great day is ‘i have 35 dollars I’m going to finally be able to eat something other than canned beans and Four Loko.’ YOU MAKE NONE OF THE SENSE, BRADSHAW. 

I’ll prove it with math, even though I haven’t done math in about 34 years. Whatever. Okay: she writes one thing every week for a crappy newspaper. That can’t really pay a lot, huh? I’m going to be SUPER generous, because she’s been doing it for years and I guess people like her. I’d say a nice paycheck for a newspaper column is about 200 now, but let’s say the economy was way better in 1998 and she could get 500 dollars a week for it. 

That means she makes about 2,000 dollars a month. 

Fuck it, I’ll be super generous and give her 4,000 dollars, because everybody loves Carrie and everybody raves about her but I always find her voiceovers really boring.

With New York State Taxes, and this was in almost 12 years ago so i’ll say she probably lost a little less than 4% every dollar. I’ll take maybe 150 dollars off her paycheck, if she pays her taxes like a good girl and not like Willie Nelson.

Now she has 3,850 dollars. She lives in a swanky ass one bedroom that’s not even a studio which is insane.  And it’s huge and there don’t seem to be vomiting homeless people on the stoop. Plus you don’t have a Craigslist roommate, maybe a creepy looking guy who scratches his balls or a girl who lays on your radiator like a lizard. Most people who have non-pipe dream jobs can’t afford a place like this. Granted, the apartment is probably rent controlled, but it’s on the UPPER EAST SIDE, which is one of the most expensive places in the city to live. Right now, an apartment her size would cost 2,400. But real estate use to be better so I’ll say that the apartment was 1,800. Because that neighborhood has always, always been nice and I couldn’t even sell my shitty and sloppy future first born to live there right now.

So NOW, has 2,050 a month to spend on shit. And if I hadn’t been generous and doubled her income, she would have had 50 dollars left.

But let bygones be bygones. 2,050 dollars seems like a fortune to me. I’d roll around screaming if I had that much to spend on Forever 21 dresses. But you use it for:

gas/electric: 75.00 a month

at least one pair of stilettos: 800 but you buy like 35 and some of them are nice and others are like really? Feathers? Huh?

all the cabs: 8 dollars a ride you use it every fucking day why don’t you just take the subway you never even go into BROOKLYN

lunch with your girlfriends/dinner with your fuck buddies: A LOT OF FUCKING MONEY. You always eat nice ass shit, and even a diner costs me like 13 to 14 dollars a meal and it’s not even good.

Cosmopolitans in Manhattan: 12 dollars a drink what a fucking ripoff

STUPID ASS CLOTHES: A MILLION DOLLARS I DON’T KNOW. I can’t even imagine ENTERING half the stores you enter. They all have white walls and Cheesecake Factory music and even the keychains are 400 dollars. And you sometimes really miss the mark with your fashion, Bradshaw. A newspaper print dress? Are you doing this?

Condoms: A trillion dollars

Thus, I have come to the conclusion that you are in 3,000,000,000,000 in debt. a . Writing pays nothing! It never paid anything! Get your head out or your ass, world! She’s fucking BROKE ASS.

I feel so proud of my diploma now. I’m going to burn it to keep myself warm in my heatless apartment in winter, probably. Let me now eat some ham off the ground, okay? But I’m a writer! I’m a WRITER!!!! Hell, at least I budget my shit.

Carrie Bradshaw, you dream crushing, bone-crushing bitch. 

WTF right?! That’s a pretty harsh beat down to a fictional character on an HBO show about 4 women… wait for it… meeting people and having sex in NYC.  If that’s not something you care to watch, then don’t watch it and don’t feel the need to “have a brilliant opinion” about it. This isn’t just this writer of this blog, but many girls out there feel like they are just so above these ladies…

Here’s what I think, ladies (and gentleman) if you’re out there, please listen up. Stop trying to make everything out there fit your ideal or insecurities. If you feel like you could never wear something like Carrie or don’t like what she wears, don’t bash that character, be realistic, bash the stylist or producers who make those decisions.  People talk down about this show like these people are real, the same way people talk up this show like it’s real, and that is a true testament to the writers who make the show seem… wait for it… REAL. Now I am not saying I feel this show shows how all real women in their situations live, however, these characters have been fleshed out in their own world that people stop referring to it as a show and start attacking them as people. I would also like to say that these same people, the snarky people who always have opinions about everything and want to mold the world according to their likes and dislikes, are the people in real life who we, the non-snarky, realistic, sensible people sometimes scratch our heads at. It blows my mind sometimes that people wanna go off on this show, but it’s never about the show, it’s only personal attacks on the girls. I also wanted to point out that I feel these girls may either be intimidated or jealous or “molded to reject” that image of women because to them it’s a negative portrayal. I mean these characters are not ideals they are extreme “characterized” compositions of certain true character traits real women have. And I am sorry, but as a male, seeing women from the outside, a lot of these women that bash this show are very similar to the negative characteristics they are bashing.

Look, NO ONE IS PERFECT! And we all have our own styles and preferences. That’s the joy about life and America. So why bash people’s decisions? No one is forcing you to like it. No one is forcing you to watch it. And furthermore, in response to The Frenemy post, women apparently find the show, at the core of it, entertaining.

Isn’t that what it’s all about anyway?

I would like to say that this is not a personal attack on the writer of The Frenemy, and if you would like to read more of her snarky posts, which is I am sure the charm of the site, aptly named: The Frenemy, hop on over!

Here was my response to her:

Hi there,

I too have a blog, and did a fair share of  writing in college…  My blog is NerdandtheCity.wordpress.com and I also have a tumblr of the same name.

However, the nature of my message to you is in response to your Carrie post. I consider myself a big fan of the show, for the different levels that the show is brilliant. If you watch ANY show on TV, there is a level of unbelievability that doesn’t match up with our own existence. I feel like if you wanted to actually write a real article comparing your experience as a writer coming to NYC in, what, 2010 and her coming to NYC as a writer in the mid-80s, you would do a little more fact checking.

The show touches upon everything you ranted about, and less-not-forget it is a show for entertainment value. I am sure your personal style would be questionable to some, who knows. Her crazy style has been joked about in the show by other cast members, including, but not limited to, Aiden. I feel like a lot of girls really like to bash Sex and the City, because to them it may stand for the overly consuming, stereotypical girl persona… however, if you actually paid attention to the show, you will see how brilliantly it is written and how the strong women roles progress and evolve over time. Are they ideals?  No. But they never claim to be ideals of these types of women… they were just extreme types of these women.

Furthermore, you press on about how much of a writer you are but you have so many grammatical mistakes it astounds me. I can’t believe you didn’t proof read your post before clicking submit.

I have worked professionally in this city as a blogger before starting my meager blog. I will say this, that is one thing about the show I roll my eyes at, their consumption. However, you must be mature and draw the line between “reality shows” and “scripted money machines”. This show was wildly popular and successful and Carrie and the girls became fashion icons, so Pat Fields started to put them in more and more designer and aspirational looks, so people could draw inspiration off them. It is what it is. In all shows the wardrobe is the most unrealistic thing. Come one, something new to wear EVERYTIME WE SEE YOU. But that’s tv. Watch only reality tv if you want real life.

That being said, Congrats on your 1 year Anniversary. Please don’t take offense to this, as this is strictly in response to this article and nothing personal. PS I also live in Brooklyn, hardly, and the idea of living in the city makes my debit card melt. You do have valid real-life points!

Thanks for listening,

John M.

Nerd and the City

go to NerdandtheCity.tumblr.com!

Congrats!

It’s been 17 years since we lost Kurt Cobain. His influence will live forever.

Bonus: Kurt Loder interviews Courtney Love

Back in the grunge era of the 90s when the first Calvin Klein unisex fragrance came out I was so fascinated by all the edginess and individualism that the music and era had to offer. “ck one” was an interesting twist, because yes it was a fashion label putting out a fragrance and trying to capture the feeling of a generation, but it was also a unifying link that kinda made us stand out… I don’t think I am explaining that correctly. My friends and I, guys and girls, would wear “ck one”… at school dances you would smell it and kinda feel cool in a rebellious sorta way because we weren’t the “Tommy” wearing crowd, or the “Preferred Stock” wearing crowd, we wore “ck one”. Then “ck be” came out and I realllyyyy wanted that! (but my mom wouldn’t buy that for me because I wasn’t done with my ”ck one” yet) ”ck be” brought about the heroin chic look and that ultra grungy bad ass “whatever” image. It inspired me to not care about what people thought of me and to just “be” me! It was timely, it was once again unisex, and it smelled really unique… even melancholy.

Well, ”ck one” is going back to its roots and in its re-branding ad campaign(“ck one” is now underwear, jeans and fragrances) they re-enlisted Steven Meisel to recapture this generation’s heartbeat! My heart will be forever in grunge and I feel that the people who really came into themselves during the grunge-era have a certain rebellious nature about them – and these provocative videos reignite that, right from the man who started it in the first place!

Check out the original commercials, then the new campaign:

Commit to this 30 day plan:

1. No Red Meat

2. No Refined Sugar

3. No Orgasm

JUICE BY YOU, JUICE BY YOU, GOOO JUICEEEEEE!!!!!!

…before she was dirrty X-tina, there was her tacky-chola phase.

Her voice was amazing, she was super skinny, and she performed live flawlessly!

Those were the days!

Here she is performing “Nobody Wants To Be Lonely” with Ricky Martin:

And here she is at her best: